I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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