yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
