Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My friends, they love my intelligence
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
