we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
