i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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