oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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