well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
