There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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