Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
