just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
