OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
