You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
