Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
