If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
