i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
