Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
