Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize