Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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