i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
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