why didn't you poke me back
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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