note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
