Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i drank out of a bidet.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
