im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize