Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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