Im at strip club and am horny
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
