Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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