The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
