She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They have beer where we have blood.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
