I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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