The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
