I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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