In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
