Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
