If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.