I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
