So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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