next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
