Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize