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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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