I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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