we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Come see our sink grown plant.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
