No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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