we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
