He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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