what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
