I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
