How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
