She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
