i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
