He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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