i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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