It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
