Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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