Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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