Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
