If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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