just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
