Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We have so much sex to catch up on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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