I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
