just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
