Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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