Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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