I accidentally had phone sex last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
