You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
