Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
