There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
